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by Rosesdancinginmymind (orphan_account)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 05:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could you write a story where Emma is reservist in the Marine Corp and no one knows till she is ordered to ship out, when she announces she's leaving everyone thinks she's abandoning Henry and running without giving her a chance to explain but when Regina goes to the station she confronts Emma who is working out in the station gym and Emma breaks down telling her how she's going to Iraq and how she's scared of not coming home. - poet of 93 (Threeshot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

PART 1/3

She never thought she'd get this letter. She knew when she left active duty the first time that she would be placed on their reserves list and yet she never imagined she would be called back. After all that has changed in the past four years since she left her marine base this never even crossed her mind as a possibility. She's the saviour now, a hero to fairytale characters which compromise her family and friends. She's broken curses and fought witches and travelled lands and well this possibility just disappeared to the back of her mind.

She has to go. She knows she has to go. She's a saviour. It's her duty and her country needs her. She can't not go. No, Emma knows she has to go now they've called her back. She knew she always would no matter how hard.

She has a family to protect now. She promised to always keep them safe and to her way of thinking this is part of that.

_Oh god how do I tell them?_

Emma can't imagine facing all her friends and family and dropping this news on them. It was easier last time. She was alone. It was easy enough to leave and perform her duty. Now she has more people than she's ever had before.

She doesn't know how this was treated in the Enchanted Forest but from she's heard of the Ogre Wars when you were called to duty you went. So surely they'd understand? And yet a cold feeling of dread fills her stomach at the prospect of having to tell her new found parents that she has to ship off to war, a war they know little to nothing about.

She thinks of Henry.  _Oh god Henry. I can't tell Henry_. She's seen letters that other marines has received from their kids and they always broke her heart. Little doodles and pleas for them to come home. She can't face that. She can't do that to Henry. She hates the thought of him constantly fearing for her life.

Regina will take care of him like she did the first ten years. She'll make sure Regina and every else knows that Henry will go back to the mansion and have the life he deserves, the life she'll fight for him to have.

_No more lying_. She'd promised. Her promises mean a lot to her now and she swore to Henry that she wouldn't lie to him anymore. She gulps already dreading making the announcement. She has to tell the truth or Henry would never understand. He'll be madder at her for lying. Emma knows her son all too well and how much he values the truth.

Her thoughts drift then to Regina. She has a lot of faith in the brunette now, she knows that she will help Henry through this, that she will be able to reassure him. Above everything else she knows that Regina is a good mom and will do her best to protect their son while she is away. She doesn't know exactly what to call Regina. They're friends? They've been civil for Henry's sake, growing friendlier over time and weekly family dinners and well if she's honest she feels more than friendship for Regina.  _I hope I get a chance to tell her_. She makes a vow to herself here and now that when she gets back she will tell Regina. Not before then. That would just be cruel.

She looks back down at the letter that she hoped she'd never get again. She thinks of the duty she has to uphold. She thinks of her family and friends who she vowed to protect and keep safe.

* * *

Emma puts it off for several days trying her best to avoid her parents and her son's questions about her distracted state. She's spent as much time with Henry as possible. They've had ice-cream every afternoon. She's had dinner with him and Regina. She's let him stay up to watch movies. She's taken him to the beach and the playground. She's filled her days with as many moments with her son as she can possibly can.

She's going tomorrow. She's put off this announcement for as long as possible. But she knows unfortunately that she can put it off no longer. They have to know. She can't just leave in the middle of the night. A few years ago she might have done, just slipped out without any warning, but now she can't. These people, her friends and her family, they mean far too much to her to do that.

She paces the apartment in front of her son and parents who watch her worriedly.

"Emma what's wrong?" Snow asks nervously.

"I have to tell you something" Emma begins sucking in a deep breath.  _Oh god this hurts_. Her gut churns and her eyes prick with tears at the thought of having to leave them.

"You can tell us anything" her mother reassures and Emma smiles a little.

"Okay I have to leave –" she says and they all immediately cut her off.

"What? How could you?!" Henry shouts, "I thought you were done running? Why would you leave?"

"Henry, kid let me explain"

"No. Just go!" He yells before running out the door.

She looks helplessly at the open door before spinning round to see her parents shocked and upset faces.

"How could you do this Emma?" Snow asks, her voice laden with tears.

"Mom, let me just explain"

"No how could you do this?" Charming asks, "We're your family and you're leaving us?"

"Look I'll explain, just I need get Henry" Emma replies letting her tears slide free. This was not how she wanted this to go. She thought they'd at least let her try and explain. Yet none of them listened. She can't look at their disappointed faces anymore and so she does just what they think: she runs.

* * *

"Mom!" Henry shouts as he runs into the mayoral office.

"Henry" Regina greets before looking up with a gasp when she sees the tears streaming down her son's face. "Oh Henry. What's wrong?" she asks softly as she kneels down in front of him taking his hands in her own.

"She's leaving" he sobs.

"What? Who's leaving?" Regina asks confusedly.

"E-Emma" he cries.

At that her heart drops. Over the past few years their relationship has blossomed and grown to the point where they are friends. Well she wishes they were more than that. Her feelings for the blonde are a lot more than friendship. She now dreams of Emma and spends their dinners wishing she could work up the nerve to tell Emma the truth that lies in her heart. She never thought she'd get the chance what with Neal and Hook. Yet after Emma rejected them she let herself hope. She never thought Emma would leave. Not now she has friends and family who love and support her. Not now she has a home. She certainly never thought Emma would leave their son. Henry is everything to both of them.

_She's leaving_ Regina thinks sorrowfully as her heart sinks painfully and a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Mom" Henry says snapping her from her stunned reverie.

"Sorry Henry. I just, Emma's leaving? Are you sure? Why?"

"I don't know. When she said she was leaving I just ran. I don't want her to go Mommy" her heart aches further at his pain.

"Henry, hey, Henry come here" she says tenderly enveloping him in a tight hug, "It's going to be okay. I'm going to find out what's happening alright? But no matter what happens it's all going to be alright"

"Promise?"

"I promise, now go to your grandparents while I look for your Ma. I'll come by to pick you up later" she says reassuringly giving him another quick hug as she wipes the tears from his face.

* * *

Regina marches down towards the station knowing Emma will have retreated there. She looks around the small station frowning when she can't see the Sheriff anywhere.  _Where is she?_ She asks herself before she catches the barely perceptible sound of crying.

She follows the sound and walks into the gym to find the blonde doing chin ups and sobbing. Her heart aches at the sight.

"Emma?" she asks worriedly, "What's going on? Henry. He said you're leaving. Are you?"

"Isn't that what you always wanted?" Emma asks bitterly thinking of her first days in town.

"I haven't wanted that in a long time" Regina says. "Now what's happening?"

Emma sits down before giving her a sad watery smile, "You know you're the only one who asked me that?" she says before a loud sob bursts free.

Regina walks over and sits down across from her before reaching for Emma's hand, "They all worry about you. They all love you. They're just upset and angry and sometimes people don't think about the reasons why, they just think about their reactions and emotions at the time but trust me they'll want to know why. I want to know why"

"You're the only one who I feel like I can tell and you won't judge me or yell at me. You'll just be there for me."

"I'm right here Emma. You trust me and I trust you which is why I can tell you that right now you're scaring me a little. Please just tell me what's going on?"

Emma sniffs before looking into Regina's eyes. For some reason they've always helped her focus.

"I'm a Marine" she says, "And when you leave service they put you on a reserves list just in case they need you again"

Regina deflates when she realises what this means, "They need you again" she whispers in a stunned voice.

"Yeah" Emma cries, "I have to go to Iraq. I leave for training tomorrow"

"Tomorrow?" Regina says letting her own tears run free. "Tomorrow?"

"I know" Emma says, "I have to go. I know I have to go. The first time I wasn't scared ya know? Just I wasn't scared at all. I was alone so I figured it didn't even matter if I died or got injured. But now here's the thing I'm afraid Regina. I'm afraid. I'm the saviour and I can't stop crying because I'm so scared. I have to go. I have to protect my family and my country. I have a duty and I have to fulfil it. I'm just so scared. What if this time I go out there and I don't come back?" she asks looking at the woman for whom she has so many things she wishes to tell.

Regina wipes away a tear from her cheek before placing her hands gently but firmly on Emma's cheeks, "Listen to me" she says sternly. "You are coming back home. You are."

"How do you know?"

"Because there are things I still need to tell you and you can't die without me telling you. You have Henry. One day he's going to graduate, he's going to have kids and be married and you're not missing that Emma. You have parents and friends and family and a whole town waiting for you. I know you're scared but if our history has taught me anything it's that you always find your way back to us."

"I wish I wasn't so scared"

"I think you're supposed to be Emma. It means you're loved and that you love people. It means you don't want to leave us. So don't. Come back to us. Come back to me" Regina pleads.

"Could you tell me? Before I leave. Just tell me the thing you want to say most."

Regina shakes her head. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'll tell you when come home"

Emma smiles before she sucks in a deep breath. "Will you let me do one thing before I have to go?"

"Anything" Regina replies.

"Let me kiss you"

Regina nods and Emma leans forward tentatively pressing their lips together. She melts instantly at the soft and sweet taste of the other woman's lips letting herself lose herself in this moment. She lets her fear and the future disappear for this brief moment and instead kisses Regina. She thinks of the future she wants to have with this woman, of what she wants to have after her return. She loses herself in the kiss and lets herself have hope instead of fear. She won't can't let this be the only time she kisses Regina. There's still so much she has to say and see. There's still so much of her family and it's future she needs to experience. She just hopes she comes back to see it.

She pulls away from Regina and rests her forehead against the other woman's, "There's some things you need to know"

"Emma" Regina begins but Emma silences her with a finger on those soft red lips.

"I want Henry to stay with you and not my parents while I'm gone. It's only right. You're his mom and I know you'll be able to look after him and make sure he doesn't worry too much. I want you to live your lives okay. Let him see my parents and Neal and even Gold if he wants. Just make sure you don't forget me"

"I never could" Regina promises.

"There's more. I have to leave in the morning but they won't let me explain. I've written my parents a letter explaining everything and one to Henry as well. I wrote one to you too. Just can you make sure everyone gets there letters once I'm gone?"

"I can do that as you long as you do something for me"

"What?"

"Just don't be you. Don't be a hero. Don't put yourself in danger. Just promise me you'll stay safe."

"I promise. I have things to come home for" Emma replies running her thumb over Regina's cheek.

They spend the rest of the evening simply holding onto each other neither really willing to let the other go. They cry. They swap stories. Anything to pass the evening and the night. The pair let themselves pretend this is just one of their family dinner nights where they lose track of time in conversation. They share stories of their son and their pasts, little details of each other, they swap jokes and stories to distract themselves from the harsh reality the morning will bring. When the time draws nearer Emma makes Regina film her goodbyes to give to her parents and to Henry. She hands over the letters and they share one more sweet kiss, a promise to each other.

When the dawn comes Regina drives them to the town line. They sit in the Bug for several minutes, Regina not wanting to leave the car, Emma reticent to cross that line and into her uncertain future.

"You're going to be okay" Regina says confidently. She needs to believe. She needs Emma to believe. Emma smiles at her before repeating, "I'm going to be okay"

"I have to go" she adds after a moment's pause. "If I don't come back –" she begins as tears pool in her eyes.

"Don't" Regina interrupts, "You're coming back"

"Regina" Emma says hesitantly, her fear rising in her chest.

"Emma no. Please I need to believe you're coming back. There are things we haven't told each other but we will. You need to believe. Believe that you will come home to Henry, to your parents, to me, to everyone who loves you. I know you're scared but think of Pan's curse and your time in the Enchanted Forest. Both times you came back. You're going to do that again"

Emma smiles at you, "God I hope you're right."

"Me too"

"It's time" Emma says sadly.

Regina frowns before pressing her lips against Emma's in a desperate kiss, "Okay. Okay. It's going to be okay"

"Yeah it is" Emma repeats. She can do this. She has to do this. She looks at Regina once more commemorating her face to memory. Regina gave her several photos of Henry to have while she was away. She runs her thumb over them before grabbing her phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Just hold on a sec" Emma replies before finding her camera and snapping a photo of the other woman.

"Oh god Emma. That's going to look terrible"

Emma chuckles at her, "You always look beautiful. I have photos of Henry. I have one of my parents but I needed one of you. I need them so I can look at them every day and remind myself why I'm there and why I'm going to come home safe and sound."

Regina smiles, "That you are. I believe it Emma and I believe in you. Goodbye" her voice cracks on the word but she does her best to compose herself.

"Goodbye" Emma replies feeling the tears slide down her face. With one final glance at the town and at Regina she climbs into the Bug and starts her drive.

It's only when the Bug is out of sight that Regina lets herself sob.  _Please just come home Emma_.

_Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading :)_


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2/3

Regina sniffs as she pulls up outside of the Charming's apartment. She left Henry here overnight and now Emma is gone. She wipes away some fresh tears before looking at the video and letters Emma left for her to give to her parents and their son.  _How do I tell them? How do I tell them that she already left?_

She checks her reflection in her car's mirror frowning at her reddened cheeks and puffy eyes. They'll know she's been crying but she has no time to fix it. Right now all she cares about is Emma who's on her way to a reserve training camp. She prays that Emma will just stay safe and come back home.  _I still need to tell her I love her_.

Regina grabs the video and the letters before slowly climbing out of her car. Her legs are a little shaky but somehow they still guide her up to the apartment. She knocks on the door, her heart feeling heavy in her chest with the knowledge of what she has to tell the people waiting inside. She swallows down the lump of fear in her throat and does her best to stem the flow of tears she can feel brimming behind her eyelids.

"Regina" Snow says in a surprised voice, "We were expecting you yesterday"

"I know" Regina says shocked by how gravelly and hoarse her own voice is. She can see it's unsettling to the other woman too. "I-I got held up" she says before smiling sadly at her evening with Emma. She relished every minute of conversation and every moment of contact they shared last night. She loved every story and every detail they shared and she knows the connection she felt with Emma only strengthened last night but she just wishes they hadn't had to say goodbye. Regina understands why Emma had to leave, it's her nature and her character to be a hero, to do her duty and protect the ones she loves. That same nature is one of the reasons, one of many, that she found herself falling for Emma. She runs her thumb over the curved letters of her name in Emma's handwriting. She did what Emma promised and she waited for Emma to leave. She hasn't been able to open the envelope yet and read the words that Emma has left for her to hold onto in her absence.

Snow looks at her worried by the other woman's silence and the obvious signs that she's been crying recently. "Regina is everything okay?"

At that moment Henry comes out and runs up to his mother enveloping her in a hug. "Hi Mom" he says before looking up and noticing the tear stains on her face. His own face falls, "Mom, what's wrong?"

Regina smiles at him, a too big smile which is on the verge of collapsing but she needs to wear it in order to be able to break this news to him. "Henry I think you need to sit down. Snow, Charming you should too"

At that they share a worried glance before nervously taking a seat across from her.

Regina sits herself down and stares down at the letters. She blinks when she notices a tear fall onto one and wipes her eyes once more. She hands Emma's parents their letter first before giving Henry his.

"Don't open them yet. Emma wanted me to ask you to please watch this first. She knows you were all mad at her but she had to go." Her voice breaks on the last word and she busies herself setting up the video before hitting play. She runs her thumb over the image of Emma that appears on the screen wishing she had the real life woman sitting with her instead.

"Mom?" Henry asks confusedly.

She doesn't reply but instead walks over to him and hugs her from behind resting her head against his. She wills herself to be strong for him but god it's so difficult so instead she seeks comfort in the presence of her son, of her and Emma's son.  _She'll come back, there's no way she'll miss too much of Henry_. "Just watch" she whispers remembering all too well the moment she helped Emma make this video goodbye.

The Emma on the screen frowns slightly before she begins to talk.

_"Hi guys. I know you're all pretty mad at me right now but hopefully you'll understand why I had to leave once you've watched this." Emma pauses to wipe away a tear._

_"It's okay. You're doing great, just keep going" Regina says from behind the camera. She gives her a reassuring smile._

_Emma sighs, "I don't know how to do this Regina"_

_"I know but you have to tell them Emma. Just say what you need to say"_

_"Okay, there are a lot of things you guys don't know about me. One day hopefully I'll get a chance to tell you all or most of them"_

_"You will"_

_"Thanks. Anyway a few years ago I joined the Marines. When I came back they put me on a reserves list which basically means that when they need me they call me back. It's been three and a half years since I left the first time and I never thought I'd have to go back but then a few weeks ago I got the letter." She holds it up to show them before continuing, "I know you guys think I'm running but I'm not. I have to go back overseas for a little while. I don't know what war was like for you back in your land but for me I have to go back. When they call you they call you and you fight. Back then I had no-one so I just had my country to protect. Now I have not just my country but my friends, my parents, my son and you" she says pointing to Regina who smiles, "to protect."_

_Regina reaches out to wipe away the tears that slip down Emma's cheeks. "It's okay" she says reassuringly._

_"I just never thought this would be so hard" Emma replies sadly._

_"I know but that's a good thing"_

_"It is?"_

_"Yes because it means you love and are loved. Just think about what you want to tell them right now"_

_Emma nods before looking back up at the camera, "Mom, Dad I know we've not really had much time together but I know right now you're freaking out. You're probably really upset with yourselves for not listening to me earlier or feeling guilty or whatever but please just don't beat yourselves up too hard. No matter what happens to me over there I want you to know that I'm so glad to have met you guys. Last time I went over I had no-one and now I have parents and I know we haven't had much time with each other but promise me you won't worry too much. I'm going to say something I've heard you two tell each other time and time again, I will always find you. We find each other and I will make my way back to you. I love you and I'll stay safe so don't worry."_

_She takes a deep breath before continuing, "Henry. Hey kid. First off I want to thank you because you brought me to everything I have now. Without you I'd still be stuck in some crummy apartment kicking bail jumper ass. Your Mom is rolling her eyes at my language right now so don't say ass okay kid? Anyway I love you so much Henry and nothing will ever change that. While I'm gone I want you to stay with your Mom. Look after her. I know she seems all tough and scary but I know you two will take care of each other. Mind your manners. Do your homework. You know the drill Henry. I know this will be scary for you. I don't know how much you know about the war but you might see stuff that scares you. If it does tell your Mom or just write to me. I'm not running from you Henry. This, to me, is what being a hero is. I'm doing my duty and protecting my country, protecting you. Just remember that I'm the saviour but more importantly I'm your Ma and that means I'm going to see your graduation, tease you about your girlfriends, teach you some more baseball tricks, watch you get married, all of that. There's no way I would miss any of that so don't worry kid and I'll see you soon"_

The video switches off and Regina holds Henry tightly as she kisses his head.

Snow and Charming look at each other horror-struck. "We didn't even let her explain" Snow says in a stunned voice. Regina turns at the sound of her teary voice, "Snow"

"No we didn't let her explain! She could die and the last thing she'll have with of us is us being mad at her" Snow yells as tears stream down her face.

Henry winces at the word "die" and looks up at Regina, "Mom she won't die right?"

"No she is not going to die" Regina says in a strong voice. "She is not going to die" she repeats. Henry needs to hear it and so does she. Regina looks back up at Snow, "Snow stop it"

The other woman glares at her, "What? My daughter is over there putting her life in danger and I didn't even let her talk to me"

Regina stands before grabbing Snow's hands, "Listen to me. Emma knows you love her. She was upset by your reaction but she loves you and she knows she is loved. She explained regardless because she knew that once she left you'd want to know why and you'd want to hear from her not to worry and not to be scared. Emma will come back from this and what she needs to know is that we believe in her so don't make this about you. Don't you dare make this about you. This is about Emma who needs your support not your guilt"

Charming stands before clearing his throat, "She's right. Snow this isn't about us. It's about Emma and what's she doing right now. She's fighting for us, for what she believes in. We didn't give her a chance to explain and I feel guilty too, god I feel so guilty, but right now Emma needs us to be strong, to have our Charming faith in her"

Snow nods before walking over and falling into his embrace. She can do this. She can be strong for her daughter. She wants to fall apart but she needs to believe. After all Emma and their family have been through she can beat this and come back to them. She wants so badly to cry but Henry is right there and he needs to see them have faith.

Her husband holds her tightly swallowing back his own tears at their daughter. He feels guilty but also proud. He may not have raised her but Emma has conviction, she fights for what she loves and believes in and that makes him immensely proud to call her his daughter. He'll replay their last conversation over and over in his nightmares but the one thing he can do to make up for it is to support her now.

Henry stares at his letter in shock, tears dribbling down his small face. Emma left but not for the reasons he thought. She left to fight and although he's only twelve he knows what can happen. He's seen stories on the internet and in the news. He shudders at the thought of something like that happening to Emma. He wishes he could just see her one more time, give her one more hug and tell her he loves her. After everything they've been through he cannot lose her now.

Regina sits down next to him before tilting his chin up, "Henry?" she asks softly in the voice she always uses to comfort him. It's that voice that lets him succumb to his fearful sobs as he flings himself into his mom's chest letting her rock and shush him until he calms.

"She left" he says quietly against her chest.

"I know Henry but she's going to come back to us"

"You love her don't you?" he asks. He had suspected it for some time before now but after seeing the video and Regina's reaction he knows it to be true.

"Yes" she admits quietly, "Your Ma is coming back Henry"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because all of those things she's gone to protect, you, me, your grandparents, her friends and this town. Those are all the things she needs and wants to come home to. You've got to believe in her Henry"

"I'll try" he promises staring back down at his letter.

_Dear Henry_

_I wish I was better at writing down my feelings but I guess I've always been more of a face to face kind of person so if you could just I don't know maybe pretend I'm sitting with you and telling you this instead?_

(He chuckles as he reads the very Emma like sentence before doing as she's asked. He can almost hear her voice telling him the words)

_I wish I didn't have to leave you kid but one day you'll understand that there are some things you cannot say no to. I believe in love, hope, happiness and honour. Thanks to you I found the first three. The other one I always had and it's one of the reasons I'm leaving. The other is the first three. When the storm comes Henry you be the good man and you protect the ones you love._

_I'm not good with words. There's a lot more I want to tell you but hopefully I'll have a lot more years to tell you them._

_Right now I'm just going to stick with the most important ones:_

_1) I love you_

_2) Your Mom loves you so please remember that and don't give her too hard a time_

_3) I love you_

_I know 1 and 3 are the same but it's super important and honestly you can never tell someone you love them enough. I'm going to see you as soon as I can kid. Take care. Stay safe._

_Love you_

_Ma._

Henry reads the letter over and over until he memorises every word.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I never thought I'd get to write a letter that began with those words. In all my wildest dreams I never thought I would find you. I never thought you'd be who you turned out to be but I think that makes you even better because you're not a dream or a story. You're real. That's all I ever wanted, real parents._

(At that Snow and Charming share a small sad smile before reading on)

_If you're reading then Regina has told you where I'm going. I know this will (or maybe it won't) be a shock to you but I love her so please look out for her even if she won't let you. I know she'll find me down here, she always knows where to look. I never thought I'd have to tell you guys that I was going back to the Marines. I never thought I'd have to go. But I do._

_I think what I want you two to know most is that I love you. Don't let each other get bogged down in all that fear or guilt or whatever. Just remember that I love you guys and one way or another I'll be back in Storybrooke and then then you can make it up to me with some grilled cheese ;)_

(Snow laughs at that wiping away a tear. She's so proud to have raised such a compassionate, funny and forgiving daughter.  _I love you too Emma_   _and if you come home to me I'll make you all the grilled cheese you can eat_ )

_While I'm gone I want Henry to stay with Regina. I know you two and she have had problems but she's his mother. We're all family and I want you to treat her like it. I know she's stubborn and all but she'll need you (even if she won't admit it). I'm going to tell her to let Henry see you and Neal so don't worry about that. Just while I'm away make sure you keep my family (that includes you!) safe._

_I love you_

_Emma_

Snow and Charming look to each other before silently vowing to fulfil Emma's request. Her declaration of love was not a shock to either of them. They'd seen their daughter's growing feelings and gradually, very gradually come to terms with it. They may have missed out on doing a lot of things for Emma but protecting her family they can do.

* * *

Regina does not open her letter until she goes to bed. Henry is safely tucked away in his own eventually falling asleep. She runs her thumb over her own name once more before finally taking a deep breath and opening the letter.

_Regina_

_There's a lot of things I wished I had told you. There's a lot that one day I am going to say to you. If I don't get the nerve before I leave, I love you._

_I had to tell you that. I had to let you know. I don't know if you love me back but I guess that's just one more reason for me to come home, to find out if you love me. Even if you don't I had to tell you. When you love someone Regina you have to stand up and say it. I wish I had had the courage to do it._

(Regina sniffs back a sob as she reads. She loves Emma. She wishes she had known Emma had felt the same way she did before yesterday. When she comes home she'll give Emma her answer)

_I know this isn't the same as telling you out loud but still I felt like you had to know and I had to tell you somehow. Just in case. There are some things I want to tell you, I want you to really listen to me now Regina. This is the important stuff so pay attention:_

_1) I love you :)_

_2) Let yourself cry. I know you. I know you like to wall yourself off but don't. It's okay to cry if you need it._

_3) Let people help you. Yeah you're strong and you're fierce but you also like hugs and feeling like part of a family so don't push people away._

_4) Don't let Henry hide himself away. I know what he's like. He gets scared and he hides in his book. Make him talk. Make sure he knows how loved and supported he is. Don't let him just sit around and worry._

_5) Take care of yourself. I know you're probably rolling your eyes right now and thinking 'take care of myself Swan? How about you take care of yourself?' or something like that but seriously look after yourself._

_6) Try some hot cocoa damnit! It's delicious and you know you want to ;)_

_7) Lean on your friends. I know sometimes you think you're alone but you're not. You've got people who like you and love you so let them support you._

_I'm going to be back real soon I promise. The next few months are going to be tough, they're going to be scary but I know you can get through it, we both can. No matter what happens I love you Regina._

_Emma x_

Regina cries into her hand as she rereads the letter half annoyed at Emma for making her laugh and half warmed by how well the blonde knows her. She reads it again revelling over each  _I love you_ before reaching for some paper and a pen.

* * *

_Emma_

_I just read your letter and I promise I will do all seven of those things, yes even the cocoa! Part of me wants to tell you something right now but I also know you want me to wait until you get home so I guess I'm going to have to get creative! I hope you're staying safe._

_Waiting for you_

_Regina_

* * *

_Hey Regina,_

_Yes! Make me wait. How's Henry? And my parents? I'm looking at your picture right now. I'm attaching a new address here because I have to leave on the ship tomorrow. Training was harsh but my new shipmates seem like good guys and girls._

_Loving you_

_Emma_

* * *

_Dear Emma,_

_Henry's okay. He misses you, so do your parents. We had dinner last night and it just wasn't right without you. How's the food there? Better or worse than your mother's dry chicken? Attached is a drawing Henry did for you. He's got into a real photography kick right now and he was testing his skills over dinner._

_Regina x_

* * *

_Regina,_

_I loved the picture of you tasting my mom's chicken. Very funny and cute! Who'd have thought Mayor Mills had such an adorable scrunchy face? Tell the kid he's very talented and to send me more pictures! I'm glad he's got himself into a creative hobby. Sorry it took so long to reply but we had to go help a fellow unit defend their base. Don't worry we all came out safe and unharmed in the end. The food is better than it was the first time, nowhere near as good as your lasagne (no comment on the chicken!)_

_Hope to hear from you soon_

_Emma xo_

* * *

_My Emma,_

_I miss you so much. It's Valentine's Day here and I just wish you were here so we could spend it together. I'm attaching a card. With every fibre of my heart I just want you back._

_My face is not scrunchy! Henry says thank you and he will be sending more photos. I'm also sending you his latest school photo._

_Please stay safe_

_Regina xoxo_

* * *

_Regina_

_I miss you too but don't worry I only have a few months left to serve and so far we've mostly just been supporting other units. When I get back we'll have plenty of Valentine's and other holidays to celebrate :) I love you. I miss you._

_Emma xxxxx_

* * *

_Emma,_

_I look forward to each and every one of those holidays. It's Easter here and I wish I could send you some chocolate or something but they won't let me so you'll have to make do with the Easter Card Henry and I made you. Your parents wanted me to tell you they love you and that the Easter festival won't be the same without you. They're going to send pictures. Apparently your mother shall be dressing as a bunny rabbit for the occasion._

_Missing you_

_Regina xxxxxx_

* * *

_Emma,_

_Is everything okay? We haven't heard from you in a while and on the news it looks like things are getting pretty bad. Please just tell me you're safe_

_Regina xx_

* * *

_Emma_

_Please. I love you. I know we said we'd wait but damnit I miss you and I love you and I just want to know you're okay. Please write to me soon._

_Regina xxx_

Regina sits in her office with a worried frown. She hasn't heard from Emma in nearly two months. She's stopped watching the news footage because it scares her too much. They all have. They just want to hear from Emma.  _Where are you Emma? Please just send me anything even if it's just one line. Just please be okay_.

She hopes her wishes come true.

Her phone rings jarring her from the quiet of her day.

"Hello Regina Mills speaking"

Her heart drops at the caller's response, "Miss Mills I'm calling about Emma Swan"


	3. Chapter 3

PART 3/3

"Miss Mills?" the voice asks after Regina simply opens her mouth several times only to find she cannot form the words to ask the question she dreads. After finally swallowing the lump in throat she finally says, "Yes?"

"You are Emma's emergency contact?"

"I am. Is she – is she-" she cuts herself not able to bring herself to voice the word 'dead'. The idea is enough to make her tremble in fear and for her heart to ache.

"She's alive" the voice says and she lets herself breathe.

"She's alive" Regina repeats with a smile, "She's alive"

"Yes she's alive but there's something you need to be aware of"

"What? Is she okay?"

"There was an incident during a supply run and Swan's unit was hit by an unexploded bomb. She made it but there's something you should prepare yourself for. In the accident she was pinned beneath their vehicle and the on-site medical team had to amputate her leg. She's asking for you Miss Mills."

"I'll be right there" Regina says jotting down the address and running out of her office and to her car. She makes a quick call to Snow to take care of Henry while she's away in Boston.

It's only in the car that she begins to process what the woman on the phone said. They amputated Emma's leg. Her leg. She wonders what that means for Emma. In her land it meant death. Here she doesn't know what it means. What she does know is that no matter what Emma is alive, she made it home. That's what she cares about, that Emma is back. She'll support her, no matter what she needs. She knows Emma, she understands that losing the leg combined with what she went through over there will be tough for her. Emma loves her independence, her ability to do things for herself and to have that potentially compromised will be incredibly hard for her.  _Don't smother her, just be there. You're her home, just let her know that_.

* * *

A nurse leads her up to a private room. From what they've told her Emma saved one of her guys before the vehicle flipped and trapped her.  _She was a hero_. They had to amputate her leg at the knee and soon they'll fit her for a prosthesis. She nodded along but she's still learning. She's read the pamphlets and advice sheets they gave her several times but she's sure it's nothing compared to the reality.

She takes a deep breath before walking into the room. Her heart skips a beat as she sees Emma's face. She takes in the unruly blonde curls and the bright blue eyes and she smiles.

"Hi" she says nervously before walking over to the bed. She notices the flattened sheet just under Emma's left knee but says nothing.

"Hey" Emma says reaching out for her, "You came?" she asked as if she was afraid the other woman wouldn't. Once they told her about her leg she panicked. She survived but now she's scared. She's facing months of rehab and learning to walk with her new leg. She's facing months where she needs help and support and the last thing she wanted was to be a burden to the ones she loves. She was scared that once she heard Regina would panic and leave. She's used to people leaving her as soon as she became a pain to deal with.  _She came. She stayed. She waited. She wants to be here_  Emma reminds herself.

"Of course I did. And now you're hear I can tell you I love you. I love you so much" Regina says letting a few happy tears slip down her cheeks before she captures Emma's lips in a loving longing kiss. "I missed you so much" Regina adds before kissing her again.

Emma smiles before kissing her back, "I missed you too. I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I just needed you" she admits in a slightly ashamed tone.

Regina frowns before turning Emma's chin so she can face her, "Emma it's okay to need me. And don't be sorry. I know things are going to be tough over the next few months, years but I don't care. I want to be with you forever, leg or no leg. I'm here because I love you and I will always support you no matter what. Okay? I'm your home Emma".

Emma smiles feeling the weight she's been carrying on shoulders since the amputation lift a little, "Thank you Regina"

"You're welcome"

"I mean it. Thank you for giving me a home, for being my home."

"Thank you for coming back to me"

"Always" Emma says before squeezing Regina's hand. "Do you need to get back to Henry?"

"No I sent him to your parents overnight. I'm right here. All night okay? Now rest because they say they can transfer you over to Storybrooke tomorrow"

"Tomorrow" she says in a panicked tone, "That's so soon"

Regina sees right through the reason behind her fear, "Emma everyone just wants you home."

"I know, they just, I bet they didn't expect to see me come home like this. I'm never what they expected" she says tearily.

"Emma you're better because you're you. Don't sell them short Emma. They're your family and your friends. All they want is to be there for you, to help you and to see you come home"

"I hope you're right"

"Well if I'm wrong. I'll take them down EQ style" Regina winks and Emma laughs, "You've got my back huh?"

"Always" Regina promises.

* * *

Emma shifts uncomfortably in the car outside of Snow's apartment. She's been back in Storybrooke for three days. Mostly she's been hiding. First she hid in the hospital until they cleared her to leave on crutches and then she hid with Regina and Henry. She knew it would be time sooner or later to face her parents but she can't imagine getting out of Regina's Mercedes.

She's found herself snapping at Henry and Regina, normally over little things that don't even matter but she can't help it. She's just so tired and it makes her irritable. She wants to sleep but every time she closes her eyes she's there under that car and it just makes her hurt all over again.

Henry keeps asking her questions but she doesn't want to answer them. He goes on about how she's a hero but she honestly doesn't feel like it right now. She feels like a burden. She feels like a letdown to the people she promised to come home safe. She knows she shouldn't feel that way but she can't help it. With Regina she knows she can just be herself because that's all Regina wants, it's all she has ever wanted. Everyone else is going to expect her to be the saviour and the sheriff when all she wants is to just be Emma.

With Henry she doesn't want to talk about over there. She wants to hear about him and all the things she missed. She wants to play videogames with him and watch movies just like they did before. All he does is walk on eggshells and treat her as if she's something fragile because of her damn leg. After all that death and fighting she just wants to live. She didn't want another reason for people to not see her as Emma.

Henry's already upstairs. Regina went with him but she came back. She walks over to her Benz before opening the car door. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing" Emma replies tersely.

Regina frowns, "Emma they just want to see you. They're not going to care about the leg"

"Yes they are Regina! If it's the leg it'll be the war. It'll just be another reason for them to treat me as some higher being, some special hero when I'm not. I'm just Emma."

Regina sighs knowing Emma's right, "I know. People are going to have questions Emma and yes they think you're a hero but just remember that if it gets too much just tell me, we'll go home and we'll just be Emma and Regina"

"Just Emma and Regina" Emma repeats before squeezing Regina's hands needing the reassurance. Regina squeezes them back, "Emma and Regina." She lets go of one of Emma's hand before helping the blonde out of the car.

Emma sits awkwardly fidgeting with her hands in her parent's apartment. They welcomed her with hugs and apologies over the way they parted.

Since then there's been mostly small talk but she can feel their gazes burning on her leg. She can see the tears her mother is trying and failing to hide. All she can feel is her mother looking at her like she's some broken bit of glass and she hates it. She can feel anger churning up inside of her at her mother's pity. It's exactly what she didn't want.

She can tell her father has questions but is holding her tongue. She's not sure if she's grateful or pissed. On one hand she just wants them to talk about something that isn't the war, on the other she's annoyed that they can't come up with anything else to ask her or to say.

"Will you stop it?" she mutters.

"Sorry?" Snow asks blinking back her tears.

"You keep staring at me. Just stop staring" she says through gritted teeth. She shoots a quick look to Regina, a silent plea for them to get out of here. She doesn't want to blow up at her parents but she can feel the anger boiling up inside of her.

"Snow I think we should go" Regina says politely.

"But you just got here" Snow says quietly. Regina looks at her silently hoping Snow will understand why they're leaving. The other woman frowns before looking at her daughter, "It's good to see you back again Emma. We'll see you soon?" she asks hopefully giving her a tentative hug.

Emma pulls her in tighter to prove to her mother that they can still hug the same way they used to before. "Yeah soon" she promises before leaning in to her father's hold.

Emma breathes in relief as soon as they enter the car again. "They were staring" she explains at Regina's worried questioning glance. "I could tell they wanted to say something but didn't want to because all they had to ask me was about the war. That is not all I am Regina. I'm not just a person who went to war. I'm their daughter!" she shouts slamming her hand on the dashboard making Henry and Regina jump slightly.

"You're not just a person who went to war" Regina says.

"You're my Ma" Henry adds, "You make me awesome milkshakes which by the way I missed because no offence Mom yours just aren't as good. You taught me how to throw and catch a baseball. You play videogames with me and claim the machines are working against you when you lose at Mario Kart."

"You're Emma. You make grilled cheese better than anyone I know. You're brave and loyal and you always know how to cheer me up when I'm feeling down. You're a pain in my ass sometimes but I love you."

Emma smiles at her son and girlfriend, "Thank you. I love you both too so much. How about we go home and I make us grilled cheese and milkshakes?"

* * *

For six days Emma hasn't slept. She's been irritable and moody and she hates it because she just wants to sleep. She just wants a peaceful night. A night where she doesn't transport straight back over there. A night where she sees something other than blood and despair.

She tosses and turns in the guest bedroom of Regina's house. They agreed to sleep in separate beds for now since their relationship is still new. The bulk of it has developed over letters and time they could have spent together. They love each other but right now Emma wants to take it slow. She'd love to climb into that bed with Regina but then her hand travels down to the empty space below her knee and she frowns. Regina is gorgeous, an utter freaking goddess of woman and well right now she doesn't feel beautiful. When she and Regina do eventually make love she wants them both to feel good, to feel beautiful and loved and she knows that right now is not that time.

She sighs looking over at her brand new prosthetic. She took it over before bed and she rubs her sore knee.

The darkness of the room frightens her and for a moment her mind shows her wreckage on top of her leg. She cries as she swears she can feel crushing pain shooting up and down where her leg used to be.  _Oh god_  she thinks as tears stream down her face. She bites down hard on her lip to keep on screaming.

The door suddenly flies open and light floods the room and she screams, her mind seeing trauma surgeons with flashlights and knives.

A hand settles on her shoulder and she quickly throws it off to stop them taking her leg. "No!" she shouts before a loud thump jars her into reality.

She gasps her breaths coming out in heavy deep pants as she tries to calm down. Her panic only increases when she sees Regina on the floor rubbing her elbow.

"Oh god" she sobs, "I hurt you"

"No" Regina says, "It's okay. I'm fine really"

Regina walks back up to the bed before slowly sitting down next to Emma. She tentatively places her hand on Emma's lower back before rubbing in slow circles, "Just breathe" she says softly helping Emma through the deep breathing exercises Archie gave her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't sleep. When I sleep I just go back there and tonight it was just too real. It hurts Regina. It actually hurts!" Emma whimpers rubbing her knee.

"You need to tell Archie" Regina says.

"I know. I just, everyone expects me to be so strong and here I am crying over nightmares. I'm pathetic" Emma says with a sigh.

"No you're not" Regina says angrily making Emma turn her head at the sharp tone.

"Are you mad?"

"Yes because you keep acting like being scared makes you weak and it doesn't. Emma you went through something terrible. You lost your leg. Being scared does not make you weak. It makes you human so stop acting like that's so horrible. I don't want some superhero Emma. I want you"

Emma smiles at her before pressing a gentle kiss to Regina's lips before bestowing another soft kiss on Regina's elbow. "I love you. Can you do something for me?"

"What do you need?"

"I haven't slept in six days and I want to try something. Stay with me" Emma pleads.

Regina smiles before gently pulling Emma down and spooning her. She rests her hands over Emma's before resting her head on Emma's shoulder, "I'm right here" she whispers placing a soft kiss on a tear stained cheek. "Go to sleep now" she says soothingly waiting for Emma to fall asleep.

* * *

Regina runs up the stairs having received a phone call from Archie requesting her presence immediately. Emma had another session today and they've gradually been talking more and more about what she went through to help her process it and get back to her life here in Storybrooke.

"What happened?" she asks as she bursts through the door to find Emma hiding beneath his desk while he kneels beside it and tries to coax her out.

The therapist looks up to her, "We were discussing her last mission and she panicked and hid"

Regina nods before kneeling down on the floor, "Emma" she asks tentatively.

"We were joking and singing along to the radio" she says in a haunted voice.

"When it happened" Regina says prompting her to continue, "Do you want to come out and talk about it?"

Emma shakes her head.

"Can I come under?"

At that Emma nods and Regina slides in beside her, "What happened?"

"We thought it would just be a simple supply run. We'd done one the week before, in, out, it was easy. We were expecting the same. We were joking. We were driving and then suddenly the car exploded. I got one of the guys out. One minute I was standing over him, the next the car flipped over and I was pinned beneath it. It was all just so fast Regina. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do anything. What the hell kind of Saviour am I?"

"Emma you saved your guy. You saved him."

"The car just exploded Regina. It just blew up"

"How were you supposed to stop it Emma? You couldn't have known and I know that doesn't help but you can't blame yourself for something you couldn't predict. No-one could have predicted that. No-one. You did everything right when it happened."

"I just keep playing it over and over Regina. I just want it to stop. I want to walk down a street and not panic when cars pass"

Regina turns to Archie with a confused look. She just wants this to be better, to help Emma not be scared or at least a little less scared. He smile sympathetically before crouching down in front of them both.

"Emma when you're scared does anything help?"

"Normally when Regina's here I fell less scared. Just when she's there I know that I'm home"

He nods, "Well you have your answer"

"Regina can't be with me all the time"

"Not physically no. But when you get scared you can picture your safe place. You've told me before that sometimes you don't feel like you fit anymore. Where do you feel safest and happiest?"

Emma smiles conjuring up an image and feeling Regina's hand slip into hers, "I feel like myself when Henry, Regina and I are together. When we're sitting down having dinner I just, I feel like it was before. We're just a family eating and talking about our days. It's just easy and natural. I don't feel like I have to pretend to be okay there"

He smiles, "How do you feel now?"

"Calmer" Emma says with a breath of relief before scooting out from under the table. "Thanks for coming" she says looking at Regina.

Regina smiles at her, "Always. I'm your safe place huh?"

"Of course you are. You're my home remember?"

* * *

"Get up" Regina says from the foot of the bed.

"No" Emma huffs pulling the covers over her head.

"Emma come on"

"No." Emma glares before pointing to her prosthetic. She's so tired. She's tired of itching prosthetics. She's tired of sore muscles and joints. She's tired of physio and people whispering about her because they know. "I'm tired" she says in a defeated tone.

Regina frowns before walking around the bed and kneeling down beside her sleeping girlfriend. "Emma I know you're tired but you can't give up"

"Why not? Nothing's ever going to change. I'm always going to be the one without a leg, the one people point at and stare at and feel sorry for"

"So what? The answer is to lie here and feel sorry for yourself? No, you don't get to do that Emma. Screw people staring and pointing. Fight for yourself damnit! You want to fit in then walk, then do your physio, come out with me and Henry, go on a walk with me but don't give up on yourself Emma. You don't do that to me, to Henry or to yourself so get up" she commands.

Emma sighs before looking up at her. With a huff she sits up, "I hate you"

"I know"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome. Now come on. It's a beautiful day. We're going for a walk"

They go slow at first with Emma still slightly unsteady on her feet before she gets to grips with it. She smile slightly as she leans against Regina holding her girlfriend's hand tightly.  _You can do this Emma_ she reminds herself. She takes a deep breath as they walk out of the house and towards the docks. She looks at Regina letting the other woman's presence calm her and give her the confidence she needs.

* * *

(Six months later)

Emma smiles as she covers Regina's eyes and leads her girlfriend to a checkered rug.

"Be careful Emma" Regina warns as they walk over the ground. She's very vigilant about things that could make her stumble or fall.

"I'm fine Regina." Emma says reassuringly. For the most part that's true. Her leg still troubles her but she's working through it, the prosthetic is easier each and every day. People no longer point and stare which helps. It makes her feel a lot less like some sort of freak. Instead she's settling a lot more into the life she had before but better. She has a home now and stability. She still has nightmares. She still wakes up with phantom pains but she isn't alone. When she has nightmares she has Regina to talk her through them and to hold her. When she has phantom pains she has Regina to soothe them. When she feels gawked at or lost Regina grounds her. If she hadn't known that Regina loved her well then the past year proved it beyond a doubt. Regina stuck by her while she was away at war. She's been here through thick and thin even when Emma has tried to push her away. She's stayed.

"Okay we're here" Emma says happily before easing herself down onto the rug and helping Regina onto the ground. She smiles before removing her hands and letting Regina see the surprise she planned for her.

"Oh Emma" Regina says with a happy look of surprise. They're at one of their favourite spots, under the apple tree by Regina's office with a picnic mostly prepared by Granny. "What's all this?" she asks.

"Well you've been taking care of me for the past six months and I thought today of all days perhaps it was time someone took care of you"

"Today?" Regina asks.

"It's your birthday Regina"

The other woman blushes at having forgotten. For so many years it had gone unnoticed and this year they've been through so much that she sort of lost it in the fray. "Oh my god" she says in embarrassment. "I forgot"

Emma chuckles, "Well I remembered"

"With all that's gone on you didn't have to do anything. I'm happy just having you and Henry with me"

"I know" Emma says, "But you deserve to be looked after so happy birthday Regina" she adds before giving her girlfriend a long sweet kiss.

"Thank you Emma" Regina replies through a grin.

Emma smiles glad the surprise has worked out before reaching into the picnic basket for her next surprise. She keeps the object hidden in her hands before turning to Regina.

"A year ago in a letter I asked you a question. I asked you if you loved me and you said yes. When I came home I was terrified. I was so scared that I would end up all alone again. I felt broken and lost and you put me back together again Regina. You have stuck with me through everything. You've given me the one thing I wanted most, love. You gave me a home when I needed it most. You, Regina, are my family. I love my life right now. I have an amazing son. I have parents. I can walk when I was terrified that it would never happen again. I'm not alone. When I get scared I know they'll be someone to make it better. When I fall I know you'll pick me up. Everything I have and the reason I feel like myself again now is because of you. I love you so much Regina. This last year I didn't even know if I would make it home. Now I have the best one I've ever had. There's only one way I can think of to make it better, Regina Mills will you marry me?"

Regina grins at her before giving her the answer, "Yes"

A year ago neither one of them knew for certain the future. Neither one of them knows now. All they do know is that no matter what may come they have a home together. Neither one of them has to be alone ever again.

_Emma made it home and Regina was right there waiting for her_   _like she would be for every day of their lives._

 


End file.
